If we could walk around with a three-foot mirror wired in front of us, do you think we’d do half the things we do?
Would a mother yell at her three-year-old to “hurry his faggoty a$$ up?” Would a doctor tell a patient’s family the patient was dying – right in front of the patient? Would a parent throw a lukewarm cup of coffee at her teenager in the midst of a heated arguement? Would the argument even happen?
I’m not saying these people didn’t know what they were doing. But I wonder if they or any of us would make the same destructive choices if we were looking in the mirror at ourselves while we were doing it, or preferrably while we were climbing to that point.
With the exception of people who have a chemical imbalance that only medicine can manage, most of us are acting on an emotional overcharge and we have the power to edit our choices. We’re like a volcano: overwhelmed with too much negative stimulation, stressed to the point of bursting with no relief, and as soon as one more thing shakes us to the core …… BOOM! We’re spewing obscenities and throwing our fists – totally out of control. By the time all that happens, we don’t see anything but red.
It boils down to seeing the warning signs. We can’t walk around with a mirror strapped to us, but we can learn what our breaking point is and then learn to walk away from anything or anybody that threatens that boundary. It’s a day-by-day, sometimes minute-by-minute work-in-progress.
- Keep a diary – a small notebook, pen or create a personal blog. Take notes on your emotions: when they start to stagger and what took them there.
- Address the culprit – If you can. Talk to the person, analyze the thing; do whatever needs to be done so that you don’t take out your negative emotions on someone -or something else. If you can’t address the culprit – at least write it down and get it out of you.
- Create a habit – Make checking your emotions part of your daily agenda. While your doing your hair, make-up, shaving your beard, really SEE yourself in the mirror; not just your cosmetics. Look deeper.
- If these methods or others fail to be your mirror, a professional mirror may be what you need. There’s no shame in that.
It’s easy to see others but hard to see ourselves. Take the first step: “Mirror, mirror … what do I see?